Archive for 13/06/2007

Saturday Night’s Full Moon

30/06/2007 Joh astrology, family

Taxi
Sometimes, when I am not too cranky, busy, tired, etc, I will drive my son and his friends to their assorted Saturday night engagements. I have seen some sights during these times and last night was no exception.
Parties, Gatherings, and other names for a Riot
Young people have a lot of difficulty convincing parents to have them in the family home on a weekend night. I have negotiated with my son about the specific meaning behind the word ‘gathering’ or ‘few’. I learnt to be very clear about numbers after having a party. When I take him to little ‘shindigs’ and there is overflow onto the street, I have empathy for whichever parent didn’t get clear about numbers. I assume the parent is home, or at least aware when I say that. I heard a classic story about an individual who sent a mass text to friends, inviting them to a get together, and in the frenzy to get the news out, included the absent parental unit. Oooops!
Pre outing drinks
The outing is preceded by assembling at someones house and having a couple of bevvies, whilst completing final touches to grooming. Straighteners, assorted hair products, alternative outfits etc are lugged to the nominated house and the girls all have a ‘prebrief’ (before the event debrief). I have heard harsh comments. Once all the final touches have been made a number of photo’s are taken, often appearing on myspaces.
Most Recent Event
Last night I took them to an 18th at a venue. Looking splendid and slightly tipsy, they joined the throng on the footpath. After a visit to the supermarket, I did the parent thing and drove by again to check they had got in safely. There had been a problem with this venue as the host had been forewarned that only a small number of under 18 year old would be allowed in, yet the birthday celebrant had clearly invited many more than that.
The Debrief
It was an early, yet eventful night. The debrief happened at the end of the night, with another parent and a smaller, still upright group. As a teacher, I get drips and drops of what has occurred over the next week, yet last night all the information poured in on the spot. There had been friends lost, wandering, beaten up, broken hearted and the usual written off by alcohol. The most glamorous, beautiful young people, time and time again, shred their careful appearances by drinking too much.
Worry
I worry about fights, alcohol, self-esteem, about my son and the kids I teach. I am concerned about them all. It is a juggling act to stay open enough that they could call you if they need you and to not condone or support their risky behaviours. There are many parents who are prohibitive and clueless about what really goes on. I think this is dangerous. I don’t feel judgemental about these kids. I love them. I know, nothing new here, but it is scary to watch.

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Bucketed down

28/06/2007 Joh work

The river in town flooded last night. Today we didn’t get a drop, but I had to try three different ways to get to work this morning because there was a lake in the centre of town and quite a few roads were closed.

Last day of school tomorrow. Woo hoo.

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Dragging my way to the end of Term

27/06/2007 Joh work

The last three days…..
I’ve just had an interesting couple of days. I’ve had the pleasure of having three awesome young ladies from NSW stay with us, whilst they participated in a netball carnival ran by our school. It was such fun. They were delightful. I have the flu, I feel exhausted by the usual mid year things, reports, freezing weather, short days and had a couple of unusual unpleasant events. I was not looking forward to having visitors.
Infectious Joy
Amazingly, I have thoroughly enjoyed the visit. Although I continued to ache and be tired, yet when the girls were around, I laughed and listened to their enthusiasm, feeling better. The time flew when they were here. Their high spirits and energy really lifted me up.
Youth
Yet again, I am reminded why I love being a secondary school teacher. Young people are just great to be around and they share their passion for life so generously. I feel really grateful for my job. Even if I am counting down for the term to end. Now, like the old person I am feeling right now, I’ll drop into bed and dream of holidays.

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Pumping Up Your Tyres

22/06/2007 Joh gratitude

In Praise of Praise
When we say ‘I pumped up your tyres’, or ‘She/he pumped up your tyres’. It’s a bit of a joke designed to let each other know, we put in a good word for someone or heard some praise about them. Everyone wants to hear that about themselves. It makes you feel good.
Inflated Tyres
I’ve had my tyres pumped up this week a couple of times. When I returned to school after being away for a few days, my students greeted me enthusiastically and welcomed me back. A parent at the supermarket told me she wanted to line up behind the best teacher in the world according to her two kids. I felt great.
I could certainly travel smoother with my pumped up tyres. It’s been a challenging week or so and those things helped. Perhaps I am self-aggrandising when I write this, so be it. I am sharing it because I want others to realise that those kind of comments can carry tremendous weight. Many people talk about the negative feedback and challenges in public for teachers. That happens. So it’s good to be able to share the positive ones too. They really make a difference.
Anti Acknowledgement
The Age: Last But Not Least discusses authors acknowledgements and takes a critical look at the ulterior motive of the writer who lists many benefactors. Caroline Baum asks

“Could it be that a culture already geared to excessive confession and public displays of emotion is guilty of nurturing the current trend? Is it also perhaps an attitude borrowed from that most egomaniacal of public arenas, Hollywood?”

Where is the harm in being grateful to people who have supported you? I don’t think it takes anything away from someone to praise and acknowledge others. Particularly in a book, readers aren’t compelled to read it! I don’t remember thinking too much about the authors acknowledgement pages unless I have been looking for further reading, checking sources to determine the historical accuracy, or that one time when my partners ex included him in her thanks;-).

Apples for Apples
I realise that an acknowledgement in a book or at some award ceremony is quite different to a spoken thank-you or acknowledgement, yet I think it’s similar stuff. I don’t see the harm in thanking others or praising one another. I would encourage it.

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‘Don’t Call Me Ishmael’ by Michael Gerard Bauer

20/06/2007 Joh reading

Award-Winning Author of ‘The Running Man’
Michael Gerard Bauer wrote ‘The Running Man’ and it won the 2005 CBCA Award for older readers. I found this book totally different. I loved them both and was pleased by how different they were. What a versatile writer! ‘The Running Man’, I found to be a more intense and intimate story, wheras ‘Don’t Call Me Ishmael’, is less mystery more comedy, yet equally well written and enjoyable.

School Life well captured
As a teacher I found the characters well written. It described many aspects of school life so well. I particularly enjoyed the vice-principal character. Does every school have a Mr Barker? I know ours does.

“Mr Barker was the school’s ‘go to’ guy. If ever a water or food
fight broke out in the yard or someone had money stolen or accidentally swallowed the lid of his pen ……. or put his fist through a window because he didn’t realise it was shut….or got his head stuck between the railings of the stairwell….. or if ever anyone had to be found, patched up, talked to, yelled at, disciplined, restrained or revived then the inevitable cries would go up, ‘Get Mr Barker. Find Mr Barker. Go see Mr Barker. Try Mr Barker. Ask Mr Barker.’”(pg 64)

Many of the student characters and dilemas I’ve seen before. They were beautifully and humanly described by Bauer.

Moby Dick and Debating
Authors of books for young adults have a civic duty to make good things cool, I believe and Bauer by introducing young readers, in a realistic way to Moby Dick and debating is doing a great service.

Humour
The humour was the highlight of the book. I was very amused by so many aspects of this book. I especially loved the English teachers first lesson. I was just as gripped as the characters, to see how she was going to deliver her promise. The peg in the pants scene was equally impressive.

CBCA Award 2007 for Older Readers
This is the third book I’ve read in this category now. I have no idea how they would choose. This book is quite different from ‘The Red Shoe’ and ‘Red Spikes’. I imagine it would be more popular with young people, but I think I enjoyed the other two more. It will be interesting to see. I hope I finish them all before it is announced. I’m half way through the older readers, so maybe I will just focus on that section.

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Teeth and other pains

19/06/2007 Joh family, health

Dentists – Aagh
My son had braces put on today. A couple of weeks ago he had to have 2 teeth removed to accommodate this. It didn’t go as hoped and the root of the tooth broke off and was lodged up somewhere(don’t want to go into much detail as it makes me sick to think of it). On Saturday, he had it removed by a dental surgeon and then finally today, the braces went on. He was swollen and brave.
Don’t Do It!
I have fought the braces all the way. I objected to teeth being removed. He is seventeen however and he wanted them. I hope it is worth the pain and expense. I can’t bear it. I had overcrowded teeth and had heaps removed and some orthodontic work. I don’t think it was worth it, but I’m hoping the technology has improved, for his sake.
Bye Auntie Karren
She was a strong, down to earth woman, a hardworking and humble person who was much loved. She made me laugh with her honest observations she would make and just cut through the bullshit and say what she saw. She shared her life with my Uncle, who will miss her deeply. They ran a business together, were hospitable to the large family we have, loved their kids and grand kids, travelled together and had a good life.
My response
We had a big family funeral today for my Auntie. With report writing and dentist appointments mingled in with all the day to day goings on in my life, I had managed not to think about it much, other than to commit to quitting smoking, which seemed like a rational thing to do. My parents are away and couldn’t come back, so it was easier to stay in denial. I knew my brother and the rest of the family were doing all the right things. Today however it was harder. It was good to see all my family today rallying around my Uncle. It was a good funeral, as funerals go.

I have a big headache now and I’m going to bed.

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Last Man Standing

16/06/2007 Joh family, friends, health

To Quit…
I am reflecting today on quitting smoking. This is going to be a long post. I have made a commitment to myself to get hypnotised. I have to write a list of reasons why I want to quit. The counsellor knows it isn’t worthwhile unless I really want to. I really do want to. I have chosen hypnosis because I want to do this calmly and mindfully. I intend it to be an exercise in self-improvement, rather than a ugly and uncomfortable withdrawal from addiction.

Past attempts
I am scared I am going to fail at it again. I have tried a number of times before. I thought I would write this reflection on my blog post to add some leverage to my intention. There is nothing quite like telling the world you are going to do something for making you follow through. I have tried patches, gum, hypnosis, cold turkey, zyban and nicotine lozenges. Hypnosis was the least damaging and most empowering, so I am going with that again.

Freedom from Addiction
I intensely dislike being unable to choose. I hate the panic I feel when I am running out of cigarettes. I am not in control of my own behaviour and this has health, social, financial and time consequences. I remember a doctor once said to me ” I don’t know how you find the time!” and I was furious about that. I see myself as a really busy person who gets a lot done. Yet when I have quit in the past, I have so much extra time and accomplish so much more.

Social Smoker

I feel like the last man standing as far as smoking goes. It used to be a great social event to go outside for a smoke. All the best people were out there and there was always laughter and wickedness that I enjoyed. Now it feels like the best people have quit and I am left with the people who don’t really care….about themselves. A harsh thing to say as a couple of my best friends in the whole world are still smoking with me, but I want them to stop too. I am not a social smoker though. I am totally addicted and smoke in any circumstance.

Fear of Death
My Auntie died this week. She was a smoker and she had a lot of cancer. She was only in her fifties. That’s young, particularly when you are in your forties. I am no longer prepared to race towards premature death. Other family members who were smokers have also died.

Love
I don’t want to set a bad example to my kids or to the kids I teach. I love them and I want to demonstrate living healthy to them. I know it hurts my parents, kids and loved ones to see me smoke. They are scared for me and I can relate to that when I see people I love take risks with their wellbeing. It’s not fair. My relationships suffer from this habit.

Health
I enjoy being healthy. I like having circulation in my feet and hands. I like to breath easily when I exercise, or even when I wake up. I want to stop snoring and having sinus pain.

Taste and Smell
I know from my previous quitting times how much better the world can taste and smell.

Time and Money
I want that time and money for more exciting, adventurous and positive things like home improvements, travelling and learning.

Why
I can think of lots of reasons why I smoke. Most of them are historical and have been eclipsed by the addiction. I started smoking when I was young and rebellious and all my friends smoked. Most of the adult women I admired were smokers. I wanted to be like them all. I continued smoking because nobody could tell me what to do. I wanted to be a rebel. I didn’t care, I wasn’t afraid, it was the least of my bad habits (or so I thought) at times. I thought I was invincible. I was angry and it helped. I wanted a treat – a coffee and a smoke. I didn’t want to put on weight by eating a treat instead of having a smoke. I know most of those reasons are redundant or ignorant now. I am just addicted.

How
I think how is always more important than why. I have learnt a lot from my last experiences. I know I can not have another smoke if I am going to give up, so I am going to rid my home of all butts and buts. I am going to listen to the hypnosis tape each morning whilst I exercise and at night before I sleep. I am going to quit on the last day of school so I have a two week head start before I have to say no to going outside with my smoking buddies at school. I am going to start a room painting project to give me something valuable to do with my time. I am going to take extra vitamin B and eat healthy fresh food. I am booking a massage for myself as my treat and will reward myself with a handbag I have been wanting to buy at the end of the holidays. I know I will have the support of my family and friends. This week I am going to make a treasure map of the lifestyle I want to live when I am free of this addiction. I am letting go of something that no longer serves me and I am ready.
I have read the book Allen Carrs Easy Stop Smoking
I will use the following web pages to support me also:
Natural Therapy
QuitNow – National Tobacco Campaign
Quit Vitoria
Wish me luck.

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I’ve found Gnod

16/06/2007 Joh music, reading

Gnod is amazing. I love it. If you click on this image and have a look at the authors on the list, they consist of many that I have read. You can also explore maps of music and films. When you click on another name in the map, it takes you to another map. I would have adored this when I was a kid and ran out of books by my favourite author. The closer the names to one another, the more closely linked they are. This is a great recommendation for when you are looking for something like…..

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Women Who run With the Wolves

15/06/2007 Joh reading

My musing on Red Shoes has led me back to that classic resource Women who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Chapter 8, titled ‘Self-Preservation: Identifying Leg Traps, Cages, and Poisoned Bait’ contains ‘The Red Shoes’.

“There is an old women’s teaching tale about the plight of the starved and feral woman. It is variously known by the names “The Devil’s Dancing Shoes,” “The Red-Hot Shoes of the Devil,” and “The Red Shoes.” Hans Christian Anderson wrote a story by the same name”(p215)

She speaks of a ‘loss of instinct’ and warns to ‘guard the treasures of our basic natures’. This theme was certainly present in ‘The Lollipop Shoes‘. I am looking forward to exploring further this chapter. In rereading I hope to discover what is drawing me to this little story.

The Kate Bush site GaffaWeb has a discussion about Red Shoes and compares the Magyar-Germanic version from ‘Women Who run With the Wolves’ to the Hans Christian Anderson version.

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The Lollipop Shoes by Joanne Harris

13/06/2007 Joh reading

Chocolat
The sequel to ‘Chocolat’, a long time favourite of mine, ‘The Lollipop Shoes’, is every bit as delicious as the original. I felt I could smell the chocolate and taste the sumptuousness of the feast described. It is just a pleasure to read.

Fairy Tales
Woven into this story are fairy tales told to Vianne by her mother and the theme as I have previously mentioned of the ‘Red Shoes’ and the allure of glamour and brightness when life is glum. There are other fairy tales throughout this novel in various forms. I love the imagery and the retelling.
Celebrating Life and Love
This is a story about the value of love and the awakening of living to the fullness. It has all the magic of the first novel, culminating in the mouth watering feast that decides the fates of the central characters. The administering of sweetness to the random and forlorn characters that frequent the shop, highlights how lonely and loveless strangers can create a warm circle of friends.
Shadows
The villain in this novel is not the church but a dark magician who appears so like Vianne, yet intends evil. The bad witch who sees this loveless reality


“….by then we’ll all be sand, except for the One who has always been; the one that builds pyramids;raises temples; makes martyrs; composes sublime music; denies logic; praises the meek; receives souls into Paradise; dictates what to wear; smites the infidel; paints the Sistine Chapel; urges young men to die for the cause; blows up bandsmen by remote control;
promises much; delivers little; fears no one and never dies,
because fear of Death is so much greater than honour, or goodness, or faith, or love….”(p448)


frightens me more than the previous villain in Chocolat. The manipulative woman who entices and lures the teen to turn her power to satisfy lust and manipulate others is scary.

I wish I still had it to read and I’m going to check ebay for another Joanne Harris book as she is a writer that never fails to lure me into her story in an enticing way.

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