Archive for 17/09/2008

Moving

29/09/2008 Joh relationships

Today I went to Melbourne to help my little sister move most of her stuff out of her place in the city to store at my parents. I borrowed mum and dad’s land crusier so I could fit more in. I don’t like driving 4WD’s. They are so big and noisy. I don’t understand how people who don’t actually have a purpose for 4WD, drive around town and take the kids to school in such a truck!

As we gathered up Kate’s belongings I looked at her boyfriends stuff staying behind and burst into tears. I like him and I feel sad they are parting. I understand she has to fulfil this dream she’s always had. She’s going overseas to travel – indefinately. I admire her courage to do that. I just felt his pain. Some help I was to her! She joined me and we both blubbered for a while. I was worried we cry all the way home.

Then my nose started bleeding…. So here I was driving this massive car and blood was drip, drip, dripping for ages. I’ve never had a nose bleed like it! We had to stop at a service station and buy more tissues. I should have let her drive but I was sure it was over, but no, it kept going till we were well out of the city. At one point I had a tissue stuck up my nose to keep my hands free – attractive! So we laughed and I bled most of the way home instead of crying. It was gross really.

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Pretties by Scott Westerfeld

28/09/2008 Joh reading

The second in the Uglies trilogy by Scott Westerfeld sees the former Uglies transformed to Pretties. This book shows the discovery by the main characters that being pretty and partying, is numbing them and allowing ‘the powers that be’ to control them. This second book sees them fighting to restore some clarity of thinking and escape the city.

There are some really interesting dilemas for the characters to grapple with, jealousy, resentment, self-mutilation, risk-taking and the position Tally (the main character) finds herself in having two loves of her life occupying her space was tense for me. Awkward!

The story continues to be a fast paced adventure revealing some mirrors in my perception of realities in teens lives. If you are enjoying the writing of Scott Westerfeld, he has a blog:Westerblog. I have began the next ‘Specials’, I’m hooked.

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New Moon in Libra – Monday 29th September 2008

26/09/2008 Joh astrology, relationships

Relationship goals are an ideal focus when the new moon is in Libra. This New Moon has a ritual for this kind of thing should you be interested. I am not certain enough about what I want right now to be setting relationship goals. My thoughts about this whole area of my life have undergone a bit of a change. Perhaps clarity about what I want could be my goal.

I have been reading Steve Pavlina’s ‘Personal Development for Smart People’ and will review it when I complete it. It has led me to think about my connections to others and how through communication frequency and quality I choose how I create my relationships. I don’t know that I have been so conscious about it to be honest. I am still thinking about it. Since I have been paying attention to my choices about connecting with others, I have noticed I have a lot of rules around this area of my life. I am not sure they serve me well.

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Mango Tree :Angus and Julia Stone

26/09/2008 Joh music

Angus and Julia Stone are great. My favourite track of theirs is ‘Another Day’ but this is my favourite clip. This one captures perfectly how I feel right now. Good times, sunny days, life is good. I don’t wish I had a mango tree though, I wish I had a pomegranate tree.

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Half Done

23/09/2008 Joh holidays

I have a few half written blog posts about books half read. I have been starting things and not finishing them these holidays in that lovely way you do when you are on holidays and going at a leisurely pace. It’s wonderful. This is a no plans holiday for me. I’m not going away, have nothing booked and am making it up as I go along. Well I have something booked for tomorrow and the next day, but I only finalised these plans today. Then I will make some new ones after that.

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Mercury goes Retrograde Wednesday 24th September 2008

22/09/2008 Joh astrology, friends

Yep, it’s that time again. The retrograde ends on October 16th, when the planet of communication etc will begin moving forward again. Mystic Medusa suggests that relationships will figure in this one, so it will be interesting to see. There will be no swanning back on my horizon though. I am pretty contented relationship wise right now. I found this blog totally devoted to Mercury Retrograde today. It covers all the astrological goings on for the upcoming period.

My little sister Kate is going to UK during this period so I hope it all goes well. She doesn’t want to discuss it she told me today when I mentioned Mercury Retrograde to her. Fair enough! I am excited for her but also know I’m going to miss her heaps. As I said to her, when you are travelling, little annoying delays such as what this kind of astrological weather brings can be interesting opportunities, not like the annoyance of the car breaking down when you are shopping for dinner after work.

I really do think Mercury Retrogrades aren’t that disastrous. During the last one I made an especially lovely new friend, so I didn’t take my own advice about not initiating new action at all. I think if you live in fear about these kinds of things, you might as well read the daily papers and live in fear about recessions and all the doom and gloom they offer. What I like about Mercury Retrogrades is the energy of reflection that is felt. When I have reviewed my private journals for past Mercury Retrogrades I have found that I think back over things and rediscover things from a more detatched perspective. I’m glad this one is happening during school holidays, cause that gives me more time to savour it. I am really enjoying my holidays so far!

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The Last Deb

21/09/2008 Joh friends, work

Last night I attended the deb and it was great. I think it is more relaxing when it doesn’t involve your own children. The girls looked amazing and the formalities were quick. There didn’t seem to be as many as previous years. Most of the kids I’d taught, and it is always lovely to see them looking glam and having the time of their lives. I loved it when they were dancing away and caught my eye and gave me a little wave and smile.

I ended up keeping the gorgeous black dress. When I tried it on the next day it looked better after I’d had a big sleep. I got favourable second opinions from Tom and his friends who had stayed over that night, so I decided that it would do nicely. I felt good in it and am glad I kept it.

My friend had the dreaded ‘after party’ at her house. I went for a little while. The kids don’t always look so great at the after deb parties. It’s a bit scary to have a party for teenagers as there are always the unknowns who turn up. It had been grand final night in our town too, which was probably a good thing, because there were other parties on. I remember once driving my son to a party, which must have been the only one on in the town that night and the street was thronging with young bodies. Needless to say they returned home shortly as that event was shut down.

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The Last Day of Term

19/09/2008 Joh friends, holidays

Since that bell rang, I haven’t stopped. Might have been easier to have stayed at school that extra hour!

I am attending a Deb ball tomorrow night for the daughter of my friend. I expect (and hope) it will be the last one I attend. I have endured my own, my sisters, and another of my friends daughters, as well as my own two childrens. I am not a fan of the Deb tradition. I know the kids enjoy it, but frankly, most of them have a lot of celebrations and special events, I don’t see the point. That said, every deb I have attended has involved someone I love and I have enjoyed seeing them do their thing!

So tonight after work, I rushed into a shop and bought a little black dress that is really gorgeous. I had offered to do a spot of volunteering from 5-8, random for me I know, so I quickly dashed home to get organised. I was in the dress shop for about 15 minutes I reckon. I tried the dress on again at home and immediately thought – what was I thinking? The dress is gorgeous, but it’s really not me. I feel like it sits funny on me. So I rang the shop and let them know I’d be back in the morning to exchange it. I know the sales woman and she tried to convince me how great it looked, but I’d decided. So tomorrow I will have to go through it all again. I hate trying on clothes!

I then went off to the local coal mine to help the Red Cross ladies feed the firefighters. I didn’t even know the fire was still burning until today when I got an email to say they needed help. My first thought was – good luck, no one will want to do that on the last day of school. Then I realised I felt so energetic today, why not. It was a different start to my holidays and I’m back on Monday night, as happens. Hopefully though, the fire will be out!

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Anticipation…

19/09/2008 Joh gratitude, holidays, work

One of my favourite days is coming up. The last day of term. It is one of the best days of the holidays because when that final bell arrives, the entire holidays stretch out before me. Sure, the students are often excited and not as easy to manage, but I must admit, I am excited too.

I love anticipating good things. Even if they don’t pan out as well as I hope at least I get the enjoyment out of looking forward to them and expecting the best. I remember having a chat with my Pa about anticipation once. We were recalling how excited we were about Nana coming home from hospital for christmas, even though she never did. Most of the family seemed to think we were crazy to expect and hope for that, but Pa and I agreed that it made the time we had with her more hopeful and enjoyable and I don’t regret being optimistic about anything since then. It’s kind of sad and a waste I reckon to expect to be disappointed or to expect the worst so you’re not disappointed. My Pa was always very optimistic and he lived a full and adventurous life, so I seek to be more like him.

The anticipation started for me on the drive home from parent teacher interviews. Today was a long day. I was teaching most of the day. I had bus duty and parent teacher interviews that went over time.

The ‘time out’ of my day was a visit to the dentist. I made a concentrated effort to be really calm. I relaxed and experienced no pain with the anesthetic needle, but as if to betray me my face muscles twitched. It annoyed me that I was feeling quite peaceful and breathing but my muscles wouldn’t come to the party. They were out of my control. They knew they were in that seat at the dentist and were rebelling.

My interviews went ok. I only really get to see the parents of students who are doing well and I am really too tired to talk to them most of the time. It’s always nice to give and get positive feedback though, so I ought to be grateful. Ok, I will be grateful…..

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Reflection on Blogging I

17/09/2008 Joh blogging

At school for the last term, I am having students do written assessment tasks on a blog. It’s led me to reflect on my own blogging and why I do it.  I think it will take more than one post though.

I like blogs. I read lots of blogs. My feedreader(s) contains over 200 blogs that I keep an eye on. Some of them are listed in the sidebar. I can’t say I fully read them all, but I scan and skim them and add and subtract blogs fairly regularly. I fully read the ones that get my attention. If they seem useful to me for future reference I add them to delicious, or stumble them, so I can find them again. I have to get better at tagging though, cause often it takes me a while to retrieve them.

It is a fairly eclectic mix like the music in my ipod. I like the variety and the personal voices from all over the world about lots of things I am interested in. I am aware of the potential downsides and that anyone can write anything, but you tend to only hang onto people that reliably tell you what you want to hear. When I look at my feeds these few blogs have been there since the start, 37 Days, Robin Good, Weblogg-ed and Mystic Medusa. Many great blogs I have discovered since then.

When I started I was reading mostly education blogs, The Open Classroom, Weblogg-ed, Christopher D. Sessums and quite a few others. I attempted to focus purely on my experiences as a teacher, but I didn’t feel confident enough and soon ditched those early attempts at blogging. I tried at school to get teachers involved, but was quickly disillusioned by the lack of interest. I attempted to start blogs in classes with students, but the students found the limitations on them too frustrating and it was futile.

This blog is personal. It is a sanitised version of my life. I don’t disclose enough about my life at times. I find when my life is angsty or intense for me, I have a lot of hesitation sharing it with the world. I rarely feel like sharing my love life online, although I have. I try not to tell too much about my kids, because they will crack up (sometimes they read it). I usually warn them if I’m going to – and sometimes I tell them I will and then don’t!

I admire bloggers who let it all hang out. Many student’s myspace blogs are quite revealing and I have more than once questioned a student about how they can be so open. I find it facinating to be honest. They seem either very brave or very stupid. Some are just hilarious or clever and they are the ones I love most.

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