Archive for 15/06/2009

Sifting

30/06/2009 Joh home

Today I was frantically searching through ridiculous amounts of paper to try and find Tom’s birth certificate. It’s the only missing item in a short list of things he needs me to post him. I have a small room upstairs off Tom’s bedroom, where we’ve shoved everything of his. I didn’t want to go in there. The door sticks so it’s hard to get into. I like it like that. I didn’t find the birth certificate. I did have that little cry that I knew would be there when I went into that room. All his ‘stuff’ left behind, that reminds me of him. I spoke to him on the phone and he tells me he thinks he has a cold or something. So it made me miss him even more.

I have a ridiculous amount of paper though. Years of stuff that I thought I might need, mixed up with things that I probably really do need. I have it all in one spot now, so I am going to gradually hammer away at it. Before I start though I think I need to decide what I need and what I don’t, so I don’t spend too long deciding. I only want to go through it once! I’m sure I’ve done this a hundred times before…. how does it all accumulate?

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No Rush

29/06/2009 Joh gratitude, holidays

The weekend was fun. I really love having the kids. I’m kind of surprised as I never expected what fun it would be to have little kids back in my life. I thought I was happy to have a child free life. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself of that because I thought it was my reality. We go to the park, play games, watch kids movies and the conversations are simple and sweet. There’s lots of laughing and silliness and I feel very blessed to be included this young family. Darin is a great dad and I enjoy watching him with them also. It’s a refreshing thing to have these fortnightly guests. All other concerns get pushed aside to be in the moment with three excited individuals. I feel sad when they go home, so I’m feeling a lot more empathy for my ex and his partner because now I’m on the other side of the fence. I agree it is the easier side in terms of daily care and responsibility, yet there’s still a price to pay.

This morning I woke up early. I just can’t sleep in and waste my precious leisure time. I will have afternoon naps if I feel tired, they are more indulgent to me. I read my emails and feeds. I really read them, not skimming quickly for important stuff, read and comprehended. I feel the released from the rush of my everyday life. When Darin left for work I exercised and it felt great to have the time to do that. I love exercising, but not enough to squeeze it in when I’m tired and stressed….silly me.  Everything is chosen and deliberate and it feels amazing. I have no definate plans yet many possibilities and it’s the way I love my life to be.

Popularity: 8% [?]

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Kill the Possum by James Moloney

28/06/2009 Joh reading

‘Kill the Possum’ is like ‘Our Little Secret’ in some ways. It lets you into a world where young people are trapped in secrecy and powerlessness. It is a very thought provoking book and filled me with anguish in parts. I could feel the pain and desperation in the young teenage males who had no where to go to save the people they loved. It was frightening they were contemplating murder, yet at another level, understandable. The conclusion was very cleverly written, although not what I wanted to read, it added to the credibility of the story. It was great storywriting.

James Moloney creates such believable characters. He draws you in compassionately and this novel reminds me of the empathy I felt for Karl and his desperate life, in ‘Bridge to Wiseman’s Cove’. I enjoyed these two books but I enjoyed doesn’t seem the right word. They move you, they open you to the shadowy figures around school that you wonder about. They remind you that there are often things going on in lives that you have no idea about. I enjoyed Moloney’s ‘Book of Lies’ and it’s sequel more. I read on his site that he’s releasing the conclusion of that series on July 6. The protagonists in these books endure and face evil, the same, yet the alternate setting makes it more bearable for me.

This novel is for an older reader though and I think when I take it back to the junior campus library, I’ll recommend it goes to the senior campus. There are moral issues that require a mature consideration. There are dilemmas that would be beyond a younger reader I would hope.

Popularity: 8% [?]

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One More Day

25/06/2009 Joh gratitude, holidays

Parent teacher interviews went well this evening. There weren’t as many as the first term meetings. I enjoyed them all with the exception of one child whose parents come every interview and there is never any progress. I don’t know what more to do and the parents are at a loss also. I feel very sad for both the child and the parents. It must be heartbreaking to not know how to move your child forward.

I feel so relaxed already. I was talking with some teachers today about long service leave. Even though I have been working for over 20 years this is the first time I have been in a job long enough to take some. It is such a great gift. One of the teachers at school was saying that her father told her it was introduced to keep migrant workers from going back to their home countries. I am grateful for however it came about because I know I need some time out right now to rethink my new life.

Popularity: 6% [?]

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Our Little Secret by Allayne Webster

24/06/2009 Joh reading

‘Our Little Secret’ is very popular with the girls at school. Now that I have completed it, I can see why.  It’s set in a small community and unpretentiously reveals some of the hardships teen girls grapple with. The position the young, innocent heroine finds herself in is described with a clear youthful voice. It was very believable and I’m confident this book would be a great aid to young women who find themselves manipulated and abused in this way. I would even go so far as to say it could protect and help to heal some of the damage done to girls who find their sexual behaviour going too far too fast.  It reveals the insecurities and vulnerabilities with a gentle and considered approach. I recommend it for young women.

 Read a review on Inside a Dog. The writer Allayne Webster’s story is an interesting read also.

Popularity: 8% [?]

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New Moon in Cancer – Tuesday 23rd June 2009

22/06/2009 Joh astrology, home

There is a new moon in the nurturing, home loving sign of Cancer tomorrow morning. Mystic Medusa sums up nicely for me on Dark – New Moonie . I think that link to Vesta she mentions will mean lots of home energy for this moon. I looked at a potential new home today so I’m a bit excited about that right now. Willows Web Astrology has an interesting post on the coming moons and eclipses and reflects on home and mothering. Makes for interesting reading.

There are going to be two Cancerian new moons this month so I guess if I don’t get the home thing handled this time around I can have another go at it next new moon. I’ll be on long service leave then, so I’m predicting my chances will be greater the second time around. I’ve been really tired and I’m waiting for that excitement of the impending long holiday to kick in. I hope tomorrows new moon will deliver it.

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Midwinter

21/06/2009 Joh astrology, family

The winter solstice today marks the shortest day. Aquarius Papers has an article about this year’s solstice, although based in US it’s the opposite season. We’re heading back to summer now.

Last night there were celebrations all around such as this one at Federation Square. In the wikipedia article I read with interest that the celebrations are to combat depression and malaise brought on by the darkness of winter.

I had a housewarming I was meant to go to last night at my brother and sister-in-laws. I didn’t go. I feel bad about it. I hope they had a great night. I really want to visit them in their new home, but the end of term, the middle of winter and with Darin working Saturdays, it didn’t feel doable. I had an early night in last night and I needed it.

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Use the Force

21/06/2009 Joh film, random

star-wars-confidence-motivational-han-solo-princess-liea.jpg

I love Star Wars. A while back one of my favourite astrologers Mystic Medusa alerted me to www.icanhasforce.com in this post about Retro Mercury. I enjoyed the picture and found one today to inspire me.

I continually have to work on my self-esteem, damn it all. Why can’t you just get it handled and have it stay handled! If anyone knows how to do that… feel free to give me your secret in the comments.  

Popularity: 11% [?]

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Loathing Lola by William Kostakis

17/06/2009 Joh reading

I loathe reality TV. It has always fascinated me that anyone can believe it’s not constructed. This novel ‘Loathing Lola’ was a fun read about a teenager who is ‘selected’ for a reality TV show. There is nothing very surprising to me in it about the way she is treated and the experiences she has with the production company. I hope young people who are deluded about the genre read this book.

It was an easy and fun read. The characters and setting were believable at times. I found it a little unrealistic in parts and sad but real in others. The website for this book is http://www.loathinglola.com/.  If you want to read what other young people thought of it Inside a dog has some reviews.

Popularity: 6% [?]

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Sore Loser

15/06/2009 Joh gratitude, holidays

Darin and I bought a Wii this weekend. I have wanted one since Christmas when I played with Tim and Nicole’s. After the kids went home Sunday night, we had a play. I lost every game and tried really hard. I tried so hard that today my shoulders and upper arms are aching as though I’d been to the gym. I had a feeling it was going to have an effect when I stripped down to my singlet whilst doing the Boxing. I am so unfit right now!

I teased him that since I get home from work half an hour before him usually, sometimes even more, I would practise up and beat him in no time. Tonight I can’t even turn the thing on because I reckon I wouldn’t be able to lift the controller! I exagerate, but I think I need a massage. I missed my massage a couple of weeks ago, and coupled with hours hunched over corrections and computers, lifting small children and the Wii, my back feels most uncomfortable.

I’m still smiling though because there are only 9 days before I have 6 weeks off work. Although all my plans have changed to the point of having no idea what I’ll be doing during that time, It will be bliss to have a long break, even if I go nowhere!

Popularity: 7% [?]

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