Last night I got an email to confirm that I would still be available to work in the UK in September. I have been keeping that option open. It is scary to abandon a plan you felt so sure of. A friend at work questioned me about my decision not to go one day saying that I haven’t had that much luck in relationships so is it wise to abandon my plan for one. The truth is that I kept it as an option. I didn’t abandon my plan. I needed some time to think about it.
These holidays I have had some time to think about it. It is not just about the relationship with Darin, although that is a good enough reason for me. There have been so many times in the last few months when I have felt relieved that I had changed my mind. When my mum was in hospital last week and my sister Kate called from Edinburgh I imagined how it would be to be away at a time like that. When Tom moved to Airlie Beach and didn’t have a job, I was glad I was still here and that I could provide somewhere to return to if it didn’t work out. I’m also glad it did work out.
I really like my life. I like my people, my job and my home. I decided to go to the UK because I was scared of being here alone without my kids. I missed Kate. I thought it would be a good challenge. When I met Darin and we hit it off so well, it changed everything because being in love to me is valuable. It’s risky and scary, but it’s worth it. If it doesn’t work out will I resent it? No. It’s been worth it already. Travel is something that can always be done. I enjoy going anywhere. Seriously! People are what I value most.
So I confirmed that I wouldn’t be available to start in September last night. I feel really pleased with my decision.
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Have you read eat pray love, joh? You write so much like her. I love it!
Funny you should mention that book Brig, I think it’s what made me think going OS would be a good move! I loved the book and feel very complimented by your comment. Have you seen her clip on TED talks… it’s awesome!
Good for you Joh! Going with your heart is always good. (Having said that knowing what your heart wants is often another matter – grin) But you are clearly on the right track… so it’s a good choice. After you mentioned Eat Love Pray here I read it. She lost me somewhere along the way… but I enjoyed the sentiment and will get back to it perhaps someday. I have a pile of books taller than my lamp on the bedstand at present… so no more reading commitments from me until that pile is substantially reduced! Great to catch up with you Joh. Take care.