“Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not yet the end.” Sonny (Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)
I went to see this film in April with my mum and the above quote has really stuck with me this year. It’s a great film and if you are looking for a DVD to laze a summer afternoon away, I recommend it.
This year has contained its challenges. Most of the rough patches I haven’t blogged about, like when Darin moved out for several weeks. I missed him like crazy and had to work hard in my head to keep going to work and show up with the people I love. The big challenge was to know that it would all be ok in the end and I was really strict with my thinking about that- most of the time. I believed it would all work out eventually, even though the evidence was letting me down for a while. It did all work out and as I’m sure you would predict I am going to say, it’s been one of the greatest gifts of the year both in terms of having a space to reconnect better with myself and the amazing friends I have as well as our relationship being happier and strong now that it’s recommenced.
Work has been a big challenge this year. Schools are hard places for me to be honest. My contract was not renewed at the end of the year. It was my own doing. I didn’t put effort into my application. I decided they knew me and if I failed at the interview process it would be ok. It is. I have nothing solid in place for next year to keep making the house payments, but I have some ideas and I trust it will all be ok. The great thing about work was the work. I enjoyed working with my gutsy students who overcome things I would lay down and weep about at times. I learnt more about my community. I raged against ‘the system’ more times than I care to remember, but I have made notes and I intend to dig into them. I learnt more about learning and resilience. I have also made some great new friends, people I respect and most importantly can laugh hard with.
I am really grateful for the people in my life. I have a wonderful family. My daughter has been such a rock to me …. again… this year. She is such an inspiring and creative person. I can’t begin to say how much joy she brings me. Christmas was so much fun with absent family members home. We missed Brendan but I know one day in the future we will get it all together again. I have started massaging my parents each week. They take it in turns. I am really pleased I decided to do it cause if I don’t make a committment or habit of something, it’s too easy to be too busy to catch up with them. They are only home half the year and last year when they headed off I felt like I hadn’t spent enough time with them. I am very prone to taking the people I love for granted. I have got that this year. I have focussed on being more mindful about my priorities being reflected in how I spend my time. I still have a way to go and I imagine it’s not going to be a set and forget thing, that I’m going to have to keep coming back to it.
I had two school reunions this year and caught up with lots of friends. For most of my life I haven’t stayed in touch with people from school. It’s been surprisingly wonderful. Facebook helps keep up with so many more people and I like it. It’s weird how comfy old friends are. I have collected some amazing friends in my life and I got to celebrate my birthday this year with a room full of laughing women who keep me sane, with delicious food made by my daughter. It was a fun celebration.
I got my beautiful corn carpet and Darin and I repainted the former dining room to make it a cosy lounge room. I love that room now. I’ve had some great food, wine/beer and song this year. Just listening to Tim’s covers compilation today – good stuff. I’ve read a few books and have a massive pile of half read ones, even some more that I haven’t yet cracked, but want to. Brene Brown would have to be my greatest influence this year and I am still soaking myself in her writing and talking.
I’m going to set my intentions for next year on the New Moon on January 12th. I like new moons for starting things. I will take stock and rest up in the meantime… perhaps find a way to pay the mortgage before the holiday runs out:).