After the rush
Last week was really busy. Evening meetings at school, expo, the concert and the day to day life that has to be squeezed in between. The weekend continued to be fast and lots happened. Today I was back at school, having a rest.
My weekend was a mixture of things. I enjoyed the company of friends who came round for dinner on Saturday night. Darin prepared it all for me to feed them cause he was at work. I can’t say how amazing it is to have him at times like that. It was delicious and there was debate, laughter, gossip and it was good to be social.
My parents came home to see my very sick uncle who has fortunately made a great recovery. I was worried then relieved. I got to see them. Darin and I took advantage of some JB Hi Fi browsing and wandering through display homes when we delivered their car to them.
I think Mystic Medusa was right about that Zap Zone. I love the image in this post Apres Zap Zone.
One of the DVDs I bought at JB was ‘Breaking Bad’. It’s facinating in a frightening way.
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Love Hurts
I have spent the evening with one of my close friends who lost her brother this week. A student from one of our schools (Marist) died this week. There were many students this week feeling it. Another close friend lost a brother in law. I don’t personally know any of these people but I have met some of them. Their loss doesn’t hurt me except through seeing my friends suffer.
When we lose someone we love, it is an incredible opportunity for the survivors to share how they feel about that person and about each other. That is what I have witnessed. I have never forgotten when my grandfather died some August’s ago the love that I felt from my year 9 class and my friends. I really appreciated their support and kindness. Those students are now my year 12′s. I remember their goodness.
I had a year 10 student today asking my advise about what kind of message he should leave on his friend’s facebook page. Our students are not meant to access facebook in class, but sometimes there are more important things than the school rules. In a very respectful tone, I asked him who he thought would read that message on facebook and how they would feel about what he wrote. He was no longer communicating to her, it was her loved ones that he needed to consider, when he left his final note. That is the most important literacy to me. The literacy of the heart in the times of the greatest vulnerability.
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Celebration
Tonight I’m going out for dinner where Darin works with Rhonda. She has gained her Certificate IV in Workplace Training today and I am delighted. I’m happy for her but I’m also happy for the kids she will get to teach. She is a great teacher and has positive learning relationships with students. We’ve worked in the classroom together a few times and they have been the best years. She makes a difference to students and their learning.
I think it would be great if teaching were an apprenticeship. It would be awesome to have an apprentice to be in classes with you, assisting in all the ways an extra adult in the room can. Giving you feedback about what worked and what didn’t. I remember when I had a student teacher I sat up the back of the class and saw my students in a whole new light. I noticed some where totally engaged, just not in what was going on at the front of the room. I hadn’t noticed it when I’d been at the front of the room!
It would be great for the student as they would get hands on learning and watch all the real things about teaching like classroom management, rapport building and other things that you don’t always learn in a book. I’ve seen many students do the whole teaching course and then find they hate teaching. This way, you would get a pretty good idea quickly.
There are so many resources available to teachers now that I think the idea of a person who is all knowing as a teacher is redundant. I have taught a number of subjects over my teaching career that I learnt alongside my students. I could never be an IT teacher if I hoped to know the most in the room. The best teachers know how to build great relationships with students and understand them and their learning styles. They need to like the students enough to find a way for them to learn what they need to learn, in order to get to where they want to go. They need to be assertive enough to create a safe space, so students are free to learn. They need to love learning themselves and model that to young people. Anyway I reckon Rhonda can do all those things, hands down.
More important than the curriculum is the question of the methods of teaching and the spirit in which the teaching is given
~ Bertrand Russell quotes
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Pyjama’s, Cancerian’s and Babies
Today I put my pj’s under my pillow after I made my bed. I’m sure I haven’t done that since I was a kid. I was actually amused when I thought about how I’d done it when I was a kid and then not ever since I left home. They have usually been left on the floor or draped across the bed, on the bathroom floor etc. It’s not a bad idea… I get it now! I asked Darin if he did the PJ’s under the pillow thing when he was a kid and yes he did too. Did you?
I visited one of my Cancerian friends tonight. I have decided that my female cancerian friends have more power tools than most men I know. They are capable around the home and can achieve any home improvement project with apparent ease. Not only are they the caretakers of their family but their homes as well. They can certainly do it themselves. I am always well fed in their homes and comfortable to be me.
My weekend has been great so far. On Friday we got the good news about mum’s tests and I think that has really topped everything else off. My kids have a new sister. It has created huge excitement. Amelie was born on Tuesday. It was kind of weird for me. How do you behave when your ex husband has a new baby. I swung between absolute excitement for my children and reminding myself that it was none of my business really. A big part of me wanted to rush out to the hospital and have a cuddle of my kids new sister… but really that’s probably not appropriate. It would be imposing I imagine. I am really happy for Shane and Di though. I know they will enjoy her and she will be a celebrated addition to the family.
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Happy Birthday to my lifelong friend
Today is my friend’s birthday. We live long miles apart and sometimes we don’t catch up for months and at times even years. There are bigger gaps these days in what we know about one another. When we were six and possibly until we were about 14, we shared our lives and have experiences that will never be replaced or duplicated. Every major event in my life she has been a prominent figure, mostly through her presence, yet at times from her absence. Regardless of either she is a part of me.
Today she is 45 and as always she reaches an age six months ahead of me, like a countdown, so if Jane is 7, 8, 9 through to 45, I will be soon. What will 45 be like… well I’ll ask Jane…Ok, I can do it!
She is the MOST creative person I know. her home is always beautiful, comfortable and welcoming. She has been a major part of the village that has made my children who they are. I value her imput and attribute Asha and Tom’s creativity down to the blissful days they spent in her care. She creates home like no one I know. You know those places you can fritter away hours in before you even realise the time. To eat at Jane’s is not only healthy, there is always flavour… she is a magnificent cook.
Jane demonstrates love. I love her.
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Duck… Flying Week!
This week has been speedy. I love it when Friday arrives before you know it.
I went to see Carrie and friends this week with Rhonda. I miss her. It’s made life very different working without a close friend to exchange life, at a gentle pace, with everyday. We catch up now at least once a week usually, but it’s not the same as that daily interaction. We have these rushed catch up conversations highlighting the peaks and troughs, but lacking in detail and that constant supportive presence. It was nice to sit with someone who laughs at the same bits.
Life just constantly changes doesn’t it? No matter how much you try to cling on to the lovely bits, they move on and no matter how much you despair at the tough times, fearing they will never leave, they do.
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Progress and Exes
I have been really productive today. I have cleaned the house and attended to a few overlooked personal matters that I have been putting off. I have downloaded all my photo’s from my camera and my mum’s and put some on facebook for the family to see. I also put my little clip from Asha’s 21st on for the family only… she is still a bit wary, but so many wanted a copy, it seemed the easiest way. I found my iPod! It had been used at the party for the music and whilst I remembered grabbing it, I couldn’t find it anywhere. It was in dad’s car!
I have resumed my exercise today and didn’t do as poorly as I expected. I think the cough I had for most of last term has finally subsided! I chatted with my friends today. It was great to talk to them and bring them up to speed with my fast changing life and hear about theirs also.
I took a risk today. I made Darin and his mum a clip of the photos and small snatches of video I’d taken of his children throughout the year. I was pretty happy that Darin enjoyed it so much. I haven’t got it to his mum yet because she lives in Sydney and I only finished it Boxing Day. Darin’s ex, the mother of his children sent a beautiful gift of home baked goodies to me on Christmas Day. She also put one in for my daughter. I was so touched by this gesture. I sent her a copy of the clip when he went to visit today. She cried when she watched it and said it was the best gift she’d received all year. It made me feel good.
I have to admit there have been challenging times for me this year. I’ve been the ex and I haven’t always treated my exes new partner with the respect she deserves. Mostly to be honest, I’ve just ignored her, after making a few attempts that weren’t well received. I have felt wary of Darin’s ex. I have projected my own attitude on to her. She has really shown the way though and has always been polite and helpful to me. She is the mother of these precious children and as the primary care giver, it is also her influence that makes them such great kids to be around. I realise these situations will always be fraught with emotional responses, but I hope this is the start of a relationship that will ultimately benefit all involved.
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The Jolly Blur that has been this week
It’s hard to believe it’s less than a week since Asha’s 21st. What a packed week I’ve had! It’s all been lovely and I have seen most of the people I love this week. I miss Kate and Tom today, but had Tom here this time last week for the weekend, which almost makes up for it. I’ve had two phone conversations with Kate this week so that’s pretty good too for someone who lives in the UK. My brother Brendan is home from Darwin and Jane and Sam were here last weekend from WA, so these things have been the real gifts for me this week. Watching my daughter shine at her 21st and entertain all her family and friends with the beauty and grace she carries with her was also a priceless treat. I’ve had Darin by my side cooking, entertaining, cleaning up, holding me up when I’ve had a panic and just generally being rock solid there for me is worth more to me than I can say. I feel absolutely surrounded by goodness.
I received great stuff too, as you do at this time. I especially appreciated the camera from my parents. Darin and I bought a camera recently that has disappeared. I’ve really missed having a camera. I didn’t realise how much I would. I got it in time to capture some of the delight of Darin’s beautiful kids opening their presents today and the smiles and glee at playing with all their new toys. I’m not going to list all the other lovely things.
I’m off to bed, full of gratitude for all I have in my life. I hope all readers have had a safe and lovely festive season.
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Spoilt
Friday I had a bit of a meltdown and felt overwhelmed with what seemed like too many different emotions to even be able to say what was wrong. I went home. Darin listened patiently as I spewed out all the major and minor upsets I was feeling and to be honest some of them were really random. I love the way he listens. I had a visit from Rhonda and I vented a little more. Then I slept all afternoon. The kids were here for the weekend and as soon as they arrived I walked to the park with them and was in the moment for what felt like the first time in ages. For dinner I was treated to a delicious beef and vege pie, with the most divine strawberry crepes for desert, all homemade and just what I needed.
This weekend has been gentle. Ashleigh visited and it felt great to hug her finally for her 21st. I chatted with Jane on Saturday night. I even spoke with Tom in the wee hours this morning after receiving a random text message from him! We played games and watched Christmassy DVDs with the kids. We put up the Christmas tree. I’ve had good long sleeps and yummy food and been with people I love. I have two days of school left and then I will do what I want to do for Asha’s 21st party, clean the house, organise Christmas and just generally and calmly get around to handling all the things that are on my mind.
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Weekly Blogging
On the weekend I attended briefly (well for a 3rd of the prescribed time) our 25th ’10 till 10′. This annual event has been going on since we left school. The committed have reunited at a local pub for a session lasting all day. Even though I have lived in this town for most of my life I have not attended for many of those years. Last year was the one and only time I have ‘gone the distance’ and that included a nap on the couch. Although I had lost touch with most of my school friends, there is something quite reassuring about catching up and seeing how much we are pretty much the same. It’s like another family. I read a series of articles on ‘Parental Relationships‘ on Goop a couple of weeks ago. It reminded me somehow, particularly the part that talked about our friends seeing how much we’ve changed and grown and our family saying we haven’t changed a bit.
Last night we had an Awards night at school. I think I am too tired right now to appreciate such things. I was pleased to see some students that just made it through year 9, had gone on to blossom and achieve excellence at later stages in their education.
I can’t believe I haven’t posted for a week. I have to confess it’s not just a lack of time. There are so many things going on right now that I can’t talk about publicly. This year has been a bit like that. I don’t know if I’ve become a lot more conscious of my audience or what my dilema is. I don’t know what I think about everything and I haven’t had time to find out. It’s all too sensitive to just blurt about.
I have a week until school finishes and it seems very far away when I think of all the activities that will occur in this last week. Today I am going with the year 9s to our new campus for an orientation morning.
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