He’s Home
I’m feeling unprofessional this week. Tom is home and I really can’t concentrate properly on being a teacher. I want to be home with him every minute of my day. I want to rush out of meetings and I feel annoyed with anyone who asks an additional question that could perhaps hold the meeting up a minute or two. I really don’t want to be there.
I collected him from the airport this time. Bad move. The overwhelmed tears I usually shed in the privacy of my home were spilled out at the airport. It was so great to hug him. We chatted all the way home. It’s been so lovely to see him for the past few days. He hasn’t gone out as much as he usually does when he’s home. We’ve had meals together. We went to the place Darin works last night and it was really yum. He’s really feeling the cold. He’s shopping and sleeping, catching up on the things he misses out on at Hamilton Island I guess.
I think he is intensely happy there. He talks about his friends and the things they do with a light in his eyes that I recognise as good. His people from Hamo call him and his face lights up. He leaves me tomorrow to return to those good times and I am happy for him that he has found a place where he can thrive.
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I Can be Taught:-)
I had a beautiful Mothers Day. Asha delighted me with her presence and her presents. Her card was wicked, and so much so that she waited until my dad left before she gave it to me. I loved it … as she had predicted. She is the best daughter.
I cooked lunch yesterday for my mum and my daughter. It was a gift to my self esteem, traditionally being a shabby cook! Darin had to work, so I couldn’t rely on him to put it together for me as he so brilliantly does. I was really pleased with my result. The food was great and all hot at the same time, nothing burnt and no stressed cranky feelings.
I have watched him over the time we’ve been together and I noticed he does a fair bit of preparation in advance and then times it beautifully and calmly in the final hour. So I imitated his style, getting up early and preparing everything and then I just calmly could focus on setting the table and being calm and happy. That is the thing about cooking for others that has always defeated me. I have felt really stressed about it and by the time those who are to be fed arrive, I am not really in the mood for conversation. I hate that. It defeats the whole purpose!
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Ah Friday already….
The brilliant aftermath of the long weekend is the short week following.
This week was busy. I wasn’t expecting it. It was productive busy though and that makes all the difference. Darin’s treacle tart that I had for morning tea each day this week also helped 
.
The memorable moments of this week were many. I felt affirmed seeing photos of my son and receiving reliable reports that he’s healthy and doing well on Hamo. I enjoyed the greeting from Darin’s kids when they arrived tonight. They are so affectionate and excited to be here, it’s such a gift to me. A student who was away sick emailed me the assignment on the due date. I hate to be cynical, but usually if a student is absent on a due date… they are at home doing the assignment! Not that I am a big deadline person. In fact I am probably too flexible as a teacher with due dates for assignments. I have always found inflexibility to be an inhibitor. This student thanked me because they enjoyed the assignment. Not an everyday occurence. I had a student tell me she got her licence and got to relive with her that exquisite feeling of freedom and power that moment in time brings… I’ve never taught her, but have managed to develop a relationship through yard duties and as a co-ordinater. I had a student I taught last year at the junior campus greet me with such enthusiam! that I missed the place, for a minute, even though I am so happy where I am. The power of relationship building! To teach in a community I am familiar with is a gift. I know students parents and grandparents and Aunties and Uncles and brothers and sisters. It adds meaning to our relationships and helps to know and understand all kinds of differences that others can’t discern.
Someone said to me today it’s good my kids got out of here. I agree. I was in a big rush to do that when I was at that age and I was away for a total of 12 years…. off and on. I am so glad to live here now though. I love where I live. I love that I know a reasonable part of my community. I enjoy not having to line up with strangers(at least you can catch up with peoplein the queue at the supermarket). I realised today in a discussion with a new teacher, how much easier it is for me. There is a richness in long term relationships, whatever the nature, that is enriching.
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Full Moon in Scorpio – Wednesday 28th April 2010
Everything I’ve been reading about this Scorpio full moon talks about intimacy, transformation and intensity. It’s been a gradual thing also according to what I read and will last for a little while yet. Moonkissd’s post is a good read. Astrogrrl’s post this moon is about the transformative energy.
Tomorrow after work I’m helping the teachers at my school with blogging. I thought this time would never come when teachers at my school would show a genuine interest in using blogging as a tool in the classroom. When I started this blog back in 2005, I thought it would be great to use with students. I’ve had a dabble a couple of times over the years, with varying success. My original evangalistic approach has died down, but I will be interested to see what others do with it. I must admit I don’t put as much time into this blog as I once did. I still like to keep it for an occasional dabble though.
I had a great weekend. I spent Saturday catching up with a mate for a few drinks (I had intended returning the favour of helping her to paint, but we didn’t paint) and then Darin and I went out when he got home from work. We headed to town on Sunday, making our way to my brothers for the evening. Enjoyed a coffee with Wilma and Darryl on the way and checked out quite a few display homes for ideas. I want to get serious about improving things around my home this year, so it was great to check out what’s around in homes. We saw a couple of ideas we liked. What was really good was that we like the same things. I really hate compromise, it’s lovely to have similar taste as Darin.
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A Week of Not Much to Say
Life is just going along…. well. I feel peaceful. Holidays are coming and I’m not watching the clock so to speak. It’s good. I’m exercising and keeping up with things at home and at school. There is a nice balance going on. I got a haircut on Friday. I am happy with it. I like my new hairdresser too. She didn’t talk too much.
Last weekend with the kids was great. I got to collect them from karate. J (8) has started and it was great to watch. Asha and Tom did karate and I spent many hours watching, especially Asha because she persisted with it for a lot longer. Soccer on Saturday was just delightful. All these little, little people kicking the balls around. Lots of laughs and J kicked 6 goals so he felt very good about it all, as you can imagine. They talked to their grandmother on Skype which was magic to watch. Especially R (3), once the other two had moved away and she got some time. She was quite chatty and relaxed with it all.
Tom survived the cyclone on the weekend. I was really pleased he called me before and after to say everything was ok. It was really considerate of him. I haven’t heard from him much this week, but I guess I know now that he will keep me informed if he needs to, so I am more relaxed about that now.
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Full Moon in Virgo – Monday 1st March 2010
The full moon in Virgo falls on Monday in Australia. It’s probably a good thing with Virgo being all about minding the details and attending to all the analytical aspects. Mondays are better for that kind of thing don’t you think? It just doesn’t seem to me like a suitable full moon day… Monday! Naturally there are a lot of other things going on in the skies as you can read in the posts I’ve listed.
Kelly Surtees: Full Moon in Virgo advises a weekend of decluttering. I have taken her advice to some degree and replaced a ragged and torn holland blind over my kitchen sink with a venetian blind. It looks great. I’ve also put a lot of things away such as a weeks laundry.
Astrogrrl: Full Moon in Virgo has links to which house will be affected by this moon. I have continued listening to Carolyn Myss and am now enjoying the recording of ‘Sacred Contracts’ in which she talks more about archetypes and relates them to to the houses in astrology. I am enjoying learning more about both.
Lynda Hills Sabian Symbols post for the Full Moon in Virgo contains this quote “We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are. Anais Nin”. I think this is one of the quotes I want to keep in mind for Monday. I’ve already had some insights into this reality lately. I watched a film last night “The Soloist”. I recommend it.
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Chinese New Year – The Year of the Tiger – 2010
Today is the beginning of the year of the metal tiger. Kim Falconer has a tidy post about what to expect about this coming year.
This morning I have spent weeding out bit of thought rather than the usual cleaning I do at this time. I will have a bit of a clean up now, but I feel confident the releasing I have done will make the start of a new cycle just as positive as having a spotless home.
I visited Asha yesterday. She looks happily settled in her new place. There’s still boxes to unpack but she looks happy and I’m sure it will happen. She is such a busy person.
The new moon and hence Chinese new year starts at 13.52 Sydney time.
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2010 the start…
My year has began well. I have rearranged my furniture and cleaned the house. It feels more spacious. I have removed some clutter. There is always more to let go of. I noticed yesterday how I just move things that have no value to other places. I want to rid myself of it. I really love being at home.
My intentions for this year are:
to let go of possessions that aren’t serving me
to regain my fitness and live a healthy lifestyle
to complete the course I have applied for (and hopefully got into)
to listen to my loved ones with more attention
to channel my imagination into creative pursuits
to be positive about my work or find something new that I feel passionate about
I enjoyed New Years Eve. The kids swam all day in our little pool and we played ‘Cluedo’ after dinner. I forgot how much fun it is to play board games. I have a competative streak and I am keen to win Monopoly, yet so far have remained badly defeated by Darin. J(8) asked me the other day, “How come daddy always wins Scrabble when you are a teacher Joh?” That’s a good question! When the kids were asleep we simply enjoyed each others company. I heard from my children New Years Day. I like to know they survived the festivities.
I have lost track of what day it is lately. It feels like a week of Sundays. The kids returned to their mum yesterday. The house is quiet and I am pottering, my favourite thing. I want to catch up with my brother Brendan today before he goes back to NT. It’s been great having him here for this festive time.
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Spoilt
Friday I had a bit of a meltdown and felt overwhelmed with what seemed like too many different emotions to even be able to say what was wrong. I went home. Darin listened patiently as I spewed out all the major and minor upsets I was feeling and to be honest some of them were really random. I love the way he listens. I had a visit from Rhonda and I vented a little more. Then I slept all afternoon. The kids were here for the weekend and as soon as they arrived I walked to the park with them and was in the moment for what felt like the first time in ages. For dinner I was treated to a delicious beef and vege pie, with the most divine strawberry crepes for desert, all homemade and just what I needed.
This weekend has been gentle. Ashleigh visited and it felt great to hug her finally for her 21st. I chatted with Jane on Saturday night. I even spoke with Tom in the wee hours this morning after receiving a random text message from him! We played games and watched Christmassy DVDs with the kids. We put up the Christmas tree. I’ve had good long sleeps and yummy food and been with people I love. I have two days of school left and then I will do what I want to do for Asha’s 21st party, clean the house, organise Christmas and just generally and calmly get around to handling all the things that are on my mind.
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Why So Fast?
Weekends just fly by lately. This one was no exception. Yesterday was a leisurely day. We had brunch out and had a bit of a stroll around the shops. I love Traralgon’s shops because they aren’t all in a centre devoid of natural light and air. I heard a rumour, JB HiFi are planning a local outlet, so that excited me. We watched an old Dave Hughes DVD in the afternoon. We talked about going for a drive, yet didn’t get around to it.
I have read and napped both days. Darin watched some of Bathurst, but could be lured away from the TV at times . We did a little housework, although there’s not much to do with only two adults here most of the time and Darin sharing responsibility for household stuff. I cleaned out one of those cupboards I’ve been avoiding cause I know everything would fall out if I opened it.
We went for a drive to the Quarries today. I remember we went there for Christmas family gatherings with mum’s family when I was a kid. I had no idea where it was though. We found it on the other side of Briagalong. It was sunny on the way there but there were dark clouds on the range and even a patch of snow. On our return drive the rain caught up with us. I must remember to take our camera. We tend to only bring it when we have the kids.
Tonight we went for a long walk around town. I haven’t been exercising much lately and I am feeling it. I feel better already. I love our life together.
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