Cleaning Out the Toy Cupboard
Today we cleaned out the toy cupboard. Each weekend when the kids come, I’ve shoved various toys they’ve accumulated into the existing games cupboard. There was an assortment of old games and toys that Asha and Tom had left, that have been brought back into use. We discovered lost treasures and I had many memories of games played and fun had.
I found a notepad inside our scattegories game with lists and lists of words. There was a note to my grandparents from me in it and I retrieved a memory that brought a smile to my face with a twinge of longing for them to still be here.
I didn’t really get rid of much at all, just reordered it so things can be found. The colouring books are all in a pile, the blank paper has been separated from the works of art, the pens, crayons, paints and texta’s are all back in their shoe boxes, the cards have been reunited, the legos, playdough and other vast assortment of toys are all back in their right places and can now be found without having to empty the entire cupboard.
The kids played all afternoon with their old toys as though they were new again:-). It was a great way to spend a wet rainy afternoon when dad had to work.
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Year 12 Retreat
I haven’t been on a year 12 retreat since 1983 when I was in year 12. I didn’t have really clear memories but vaguely recall going on a really long walk, not allowing enough time to get back, so hitchhiking for the first time with around 5 other girls. An unusual man picked us up (which was to be expected in some ways), fortunately no harm occurred and we made it back on time with the leaders none the wiser. If any of our students managed such feats I am also none the wiser. I found the students to be wonderfully behaved and enjoyed their company.
We had an amazing speaker talk to the kids for a couple of hours and he was one of the best public speakers I’ve seen since I saw Anthea Paul speak. Sam Clear is a storyteller with a very inspiring tale to tell. The students were captivated. Young people today are a tough gig for a speaker. They are incredibly sophisticated critics as they receive so many messages and whilst this group has been well trained to be attentive, it’s rare for them to be so universally impressed by a presentation. I’ve been teaching many of them since they were in year 7, so I’ve heard many negative reviews over the years. That’s another subject for another day.
It was a three day break away from phones and screens for me. There were TVs but I didn’t indulge, prefering conversation, music and journalling in my free time. I did miss my phone and laptop though. I have to say I would prefer not to be without them.
Darin made me a sensational French Onion Soup and Chocolate tart to take for lunch. They were much appreciated by the teachers I had to feed. I didn’t learn how to make them as I’d hoped, it was quicker and easier for him to just do it. So I just watched while he did all the quick chopping and whisking ect. I think I would have to go into training to do these things with ease as he does. I never really appreciated the difference between a good cook and trained chef until lately. The things I’ve have seen him do in the kitchen are under the category of minor miracles for me.
Interestingly enough there was one activity on the retreat that was the same as when I went on retreat. The others were quite similar but had evolved in different ways. I still have my folder from my retreat. It’s in my box of things to pull out to make me feel good along with the lovely cards like those referred to in this awesome post I read today: Prep isn’t the time for assessment. When I say box, I mean boxes and since I have redone that activity, perhaps it’s time for a cleanout.
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Small children, small problems
I remember when my kids were little. I was tired. The sleeplessness blew everything out of proportion and I felt my life was over at times. In all seriousness, it was never going to be the same again, so I was partly on to what was going on! Many of the older wiser people around me would say to me small kids, small problems. My pa, my dad and my elderly neighbour Laurie I remember clearly, saying this to me. I felt like screaming at the time. I felt unravelled and as though they had no idea. Now I can see what they mean.
Tonight I collected the kids while Darin was at work. The middle child, E (5) has started school this year and she was obviously overtired (almost the end of first term) and upset when her mum left her with me at Karate, which is J (8)’s new activity. My own experience with my kids told me that it would be fleeting and I was ok with it. I couldn’t help but feel for her mum though. I remember clearly that separation stuff. It felt so heartbreaking to leave a crying child, begging for you to stay. It happened at childcare, at the start of school for one of my children and sometimes when they went to thier dad’s or when they were coming back to me from thier dad’s. It was hard. Now it is me doing the crying as I wave goodbye to my ‘adult’ child.
When your kids are small, they wear you out. You worry about all kinds of things. It is nothing compared to the powerlessness of having adult children. I miss them. I am proud of them. Even when they are home, it will never be the same. I will never sleep that sleep knowing they are safe in thier beds, no matter how tiring the day has been or how late it was when they eventually got there.
I enjoy being able to put a smile on Darin’s kids’ faces with a chocolate or a trip to McDonalds. It’s still tiring, but I have perspective now and it makes all the difference. I love and appreciate the simple things like kissing a hurt better, a tickle or a rhyme to light up a small chocolate stained face. Tonight we watched ‘Free Willy 3′ …ah the memories…. and they are not so big they scoff at me shedding a tear:-).
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Weekly Blogging
On the weekend I attended briefly (well for a 3rd of the prescribed time) our 25th ’10 till 10′. This annual event has been going on since we left school. The committed have reunited at a local pub for a session lasting all day. Even though I have lived in this town for most of my life I have not attended for many of those years. Last year was the one and only time I have ‘gone the distance’ and that included a nap on the couch. Although I had lost touch with most of my school friends, there is something quite reassuring about catching up and seeing how much we are pretty much the same. It’s like another family. I read a series of articles on ‘Parental Relationships‘ on Goop a couple of weeks ago. It reminded me somehow, particularly the part that talked about our friends seeing how much we’ve changed and grown and our family saying we haven’t changed a bit.
Last night we had an Awards night at school. I think I am too tired right now to appreciate such things. I was pleased to see some students that just made it through year 9, had gone on to blossom and achieve excellence at later stages in their education.
I can’t believe I haven’t posted for a week. I have to confess it’s not just a lack of time. There are so many things going on right now that I can’t talk about publicly. This year has been a bit like that. I don’t know if I’ve become a lot more conscious of my audience or what my dilema is. I don’t know what I think about everything and I haven’t had time to find out. It’s all too sensitive to just blurt about.
I have a week until school finishes and it seems very far away when I think of all the activities that will occur in this last week. Today I am going with the year 9s to our new campus for an orientation morning.
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In The Beginning – K’Naan
I have finished with that wallpaper! It was on the ceiling as well. I couldn’t paint over it because it was vinyl and had a revolting texture. Next task is to prepare the walls for painting.
I’ve been alternating between working around the house and having a day of leisure this week. Tomorrow I think I’ll just continue with getting the painting mission completed.
I’m loving this song right now.
Yesterday I visited my friend John. Then we went to Wilma’s place for a swim and a BBQ. It was a great day. I was thinking about how close I feel to John. I feel totally at ease with him. I think it is because I met him during probably the lowest time of my life. He was always a bright part of that time. He knows plenty about me. Yesterday I learnt from his mum, that he played the clarinet and the sax when he was at school and he learnt that I was brought up a Catholic. Funny isn’t it when you think you know everything about someone and you learn something that surprises you. I also saw his new tattoos. They are amazing.
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Stripping Wallpaper
I’ve spent most of the day stripping the second layer of paper from the walls of the upstairs spare bedroom today. When I first moved into my home, the three bedrooms had really disgusting vinyl wallpaper on them. Not anything that I could live with, that’s for sure. I got straight into ripping off the outer vinyl layer of paper. I then spent a lot longer soaking and removing all the paper and glue traces in my bedroom.
Asha’s room was finally completed last year when Tom moved in there and he and his dad prepared it for painting, and then painted it. My ex-husband is always very particular about his handyman jobs so it was very well done. I’m not sure how I managed to get away with that, but I think Tom’s super influencing abilities won him over. Whose ex-husband paints a room in their house for them?
As I am preparing my house to let it out whilst I am away, I have to paint my bedroom and the other bedroom upstairs. There was wallpaper on the ceilings of those upstairs rooms and I can’t tell you how much my arms ache from a day of it. I’m not finished yet either. My dad called in to help and brought me a step ladder. That helped a lot actually because I’d been using a rocking chair cause I was too lazy to bring a more stable chair upstairs. I’m like that. A health and safety nightmare.
I really appreciate my parents. They are so supportive of each of us to achieve whatever it is we want to do. I watched mum stress about Kate being away and I know she’ll fret about me just as much, but they still support us to do what we want to do. I feel unconditionally loved by them. All six of us live very different lifestyles and some hugely different to theirs and yet we are all helped out in different ways. I’ve only recognised that and appreciated it lately. I used to think everyones parents were like that.
I moved into this house 5 years ago and did plenty in the first year. Then I met Andy. He distracted me! I did pay someone to paint the kitchen whilst he was here, but in all honesty my redecorating came to a virtual standstill during this period. We were always going away to interesting places during the holidays and I rarely have enough left over energy during the term.
I kind of like doing it though. I like seeing the improvement. I think a lot. Today I was thinking about the things that room has seen in the years we’ve lived here. I had my music up loud and I was remembering when Tom was learning the baritone saxophone and how the noise (and in the beginning it was just noise) would fill the whole court. I was remembering how relieved I was when the old guy on the corner told me he was in the city band and loved hearing the sound of the kids practising their instruments. Asha learnt the drums and flute so there was a lot of practising sounds. I can’t say I loved them.
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New Year Eve – Inverloch
The last time I spent New Years Eve at Inverloch was in 1983 if I remember correctly. It was a more sedate event this time. I stayed with Rhonda and her daughters friends. It was an immediate culture shock for me after having a quiet few days at home after Tom had headed off to his event. It was fun though.
I loved my drive there. I listened to the xmas mixes my brother Tim had made me this year. I love the CD’s he puts together for me. He has great taste in music. He always knows what I like. This year has been no exception. I was feeling very appreciative of my life on the trip over there. I was appreciating driving on the bends and the beautiful countryside. I was reflecting on how lucky I am. I have such great friends. I have spent some quality time with most of my friends lately and enjoyed the warmth and hospitality.
Sadly it has been wet all week and the swim was postponed due to the weather. I’m glad I got one in on Sunday at Wilmas. I did go for a long walk on the beach alone the first morning I was there. I remembered the last early morning walk I’d taken on that beach had been with Andy and Ella around four years ago. It was really cold that morning and we’d wrapped this bright red scarf I had borrowed from my mum around Ella, cause she was cold. I wouldn’t let Andy take photo’s of Ella wearing mum’s scarf cause I didn’t think she’d be impressed.
Rhonda and I went for a drive to Cape Patterson Wednesday afternoon. I was amazed at the building going on there. I really like that beach. I had a nap when I got back. I met up with my friend John and enjoyed a few beers in the pub before the crowds came on New Years Eve. The rest of the night was spent with Rhonda and the girls. The girls were in and out really, as teenagers do on such occasions. My kids texted me to let me know they were safe, along with many friends and family.
I got home this afternoon and had another nap. Now I’m wide awake and catching up on the feed reader and emails!
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My 2008
I am reflecting on what I have achieved this year. December 2007 seems like a lifetime ago. It has been a pretty full year for me and an enjoyable one mostly.
We’ve got through Tom’s last year of going to school and now my work is done in child rearing. Now I’m a spectator in my adult children’s lives. He was disappointed with his VCE score, but it wasn’t so bad. The pain only seems to last a couple of days. I saw a kid at the movies last night and she struggled to remember hers. I find it all very amusing really. Asha has finished her second year at Uni and has made a good life for herself in Melbourne. Both my kids have two good jobs and are very independent, but fun to be around so I’m pleased with how it’s turned out.
My family are all well and happy. Kate’s moved to the UK and whilst I miss her I love hearing how much she’s enjoying it. It has inspired me. She split up with her boyfriend who is still in Melbourne over Christmas and yet she is still pretty upbeat. It was inevitable I guess.
I moved my blog to my own domain this year and have dropped a pagerank with google, part way through the year. I’ve managed to hang in the Top 100 Australian Women’s Blogs by the skin of my teeth (currently at 99), although I dropped out for a month or so at one point. I’ve had over 21,000 views this year. I must admit I like WordPress, but I haven’t blogged as regularly or put as much time into it this year. I’ve taken very few clips for Revver and have participated less on line and more in real life this year. I think it’s a good balance though. I’ve enjoyed staying in touch with people through Facebook.
Andy and I started Poohduck in May, he is doing most of it now. I love his photo’s. I’m glad we’ve stayed friends. We’ve had our moments, but all in all I have a lot of love and respect for him.
At school I have survived a year as Year 9 Co-ordinator and made the big decision to move next year. I’m heading overseas to work. I have always wanted to travel so I’m taking this opportunity of an empty nest to do so. I’m leaving in July. I need a change. I haven’t loved my school this year as much as I have in the past. I don’t want to sit around in a big old empty house doing the same old stuff. I’m excited and nervous and don’t really have a solid plan yet, just a firm decision and strong intention.
My social life has gone off (as they say) this year. I think being single has provided a lot more social opportunity and I caught up with an old school friend in October who is also separated, so we have made an effort to go out more and socialise. It’s been fun. I have made some great new friends this year also.
So many other things, good films, great music, interesting places…. but it’s all here on the blog. I’m off to the beach for a couple of days. Happy New Year everyone. I’m looking forward to 2009. I think it’s going to be amazing.
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Mary Stewart 21/11/1929-25/10/2008
Mary was my yoga teacher. I only learnt this weekend of her passing and I feel quite stunned about it. I didn’t realise she was that age, I would have expected her to be 20 years younger. She was always so energetic and looked amazing for her age. She moved closer to her family in recent years, so I hadn’t seen her for a while.
I had my first yoga class with her when I was 15. At the Catholic girls school I attended, we had one class we could choose a week and yoga was one of the offerings. I loved it. My friend Jane and I picked it every time and when we could no longer do it at school, would attend her evening classes. Sometimes our mum’s would come, but sometimes not. She was so patient and yet held a dignified space with our giggles and restlessness. We made progress and both of us still value and practise yoga. I am grateful for the flexibility of my body from those practices she taught us.
Every exam I’ve ever had to do, I’ve been thankful of learning about breath from Mary to remain focussed and calm. I’ve never experienced stress or anxiety about tests, having such a great tool to call on. My daughter used a relaxation tape of Mary’s for many stressful times also, she got it from my mum who also loved Mary’s classes.
I remember when I returned here I went to her for massage for a while and went back to classes that she held at school for teachers after hours. She was such a knowledgeable and wise woman. I really appreciate all she has taught me and I wish I’d told her what a gift she was to my life. My condolences to her family. Her tribute notice captures beautifully her great spirit. “Love is the glue that holds the world together”.
Popularity: 7% [?]
Finishing School
Last night I arrived home from Tamboritha (which I will probably blog about tomorrow?). I had made some plans for my evening to celebrate a friends birthday. I was totally organised and had some treats lined up as I love celebrating birthdays. The evening was cancelled with a phone call and I was disappointed.
Shortly afterward, I realised I’d been saved from a big stress. One of the gifts I had bought my friend had been worn by my son, who thought they were a gift for him cause they were so cool (as you do when you are in and out so briefly, and grabbing the nearest, best thing to wear).
I had my weeks confused with all that I have on right now. My son arrived home from school, with barely a ‘how was camp mum?’, let alone ‘thanks for the cool thongs’. We flew into action to get him to his pressing engagements. He had his final school mass and festivities for the last day of school to arrange. His car is majorly broken down, so I went along for that ride.
My daughter is home doing teaching rounds, her car was also getting repaired, so she had my car and was out having coffee with a friend. We retrieved the car and flew around, getting things done. I rushed back home, quickly showered and attended the very long mass.
I had taught many kids in Tom’s year level so it was lovely to see them all grown and about to complete their school lives. As each of them went up to get their certificates I remembered them as a year 7, 8 or 9 student I’d spent a year with. I was a little emotional about it all. That’s the end of it for me as far as my own children go. It’s an overwhelming feeling when you’re overtired.
This morning they headed off from the shopping centre carpark, in their school uniforms, armed with water pistols machine guns, on rollerblades, scooters and bikes and wearing brightly coloured safety vests over the top. I just hope they arrived safely, but luckily I will find out shortly at the final year whole school assembly.
I realise I am optimistic when I imagine I am getting any sleep in the next week! Last night I lay awake listening for the taxi or text message to go pick them up from their festivities.
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