Sacred Contracts by Caroline Myss
I love the confident tone of Caroline Myss when she speaks about the invisible. ‘Sacred Contracts’ is about the agreements we made before we came to planet earth. It’s about purpose and is in no way the flakey or soft stuff that I’ve read so many times before. I enjoyed it. I learnt more about archetypes. I have a lot more to learn.
Caroline’s site has a ‘ Gallery of Archetypes’ that I intend to explore. I love listening to the audiobooks, yet they lack the appendices that ‘real’ books have. I’m glad I found the online reference, it makes up for it. There are 70 archetypes listed so I hope I will be able to find the 12 that are working in me if I put the time into it. Archetypes are ancient patterns basically and have both light and dark forms. I’m quite facinated with the idea right now.
Popularity: 5% [?]
Counting Down
Yep, it’s less than a week until my birthday. I have revived my childhood habit of counting down the days. Well I’ve been doing it most of my life to be honest but I’ve just not been putting it out there (never had the internet then!). I know most people are counting down to Christmas, but those of us with birthdays in December will put off doing that until after our birthday if they are anything like me! I have refused to put up our Christmas tree until after my birthday, and then when my daughter came along on the 10th of December I wanted to wait until after that as well, so as not to mix up the celebrations. Darin’s is on the 27th, so that leaves a very slender gap for Christmas festivities, but hey, birthdays are important too!
I’ve been thinking about what being 43 has meant to me. Massive change is what comes to mind. Unexpected outcomes is another way I could describe this year. I expected I would be heading off to the UK to travel the world when Tom left home, yet before he moved on, I was creating for myself a reason to stay. It has all turned out differently than I thought. There have been changes to my home life, personal life and work life. I am happy with the changes and as unexpected as they all were, I couldn’t have planned them better than if I had a magic wand.
Much of what has occurred in my life this year I have kept to myself. Today I was talking to students about keeping their private life private. I hope I set an example of doing that because to be honest, I am concerned about the lack of privacy young people are demonstrating today. I read a lot of things online that aren’t considered thought. I love the internet and the opportunities to share things of value, but I worry about the lack of thought that appears to go into some electronic communications. I don’t blame the tools, I want to educate young people about the potential consequences.
I’ve learnt a lot this year about what is important to me. Parenting has been my primary role for nearly 20 years. When Tom left home this year things changed. Letting go is not all bad. It’s amazing how each year you look back and although it seems to have flown by at some level (although this year hasn’t had that feel to be honest), you still have seen a lot of change in your world.
Popularity: 10% [?]
Next Year
I am going to the senior campus of our school next year. I have known about it for a little while now and have been thinking about it. I am nervous for sure. I have reassured countless year 9s over the years about going to the ‘big’ school. This year I can actually share their anticipation. It is a mixture of excitement and apprehension.
I have loved working where I am. The community has been a solid part of my life. The people I work with are like a family to me. I see them every day. They have shared my joys and pains over these years. I have friends and helpful people surrounding me. Rhonda is there. I know who I can rely on. I know where all the resources are, I know the shortcuts. I have been teaching pretty much the same subjects for the past 8 years. I’ve had leadership positions in both curriculum and pastoral care roles, so I have explored what I can I guess. It’s very comfortable. It’s probably been too easy the past couple of years and I have perhaps become a bit complacent. I have felt my frustrations compounding and feel I have trapped myself in a bit of a negative spiral at times. I intend for this to be a fresh start to my thinking about work.
I look forward to learning more. There is a cool new library where I am going. There are some people I admire from a distance and it will be an opportunity to learn more from them. I know plenty of the people there, just not as well as I know those who are here. I look forward to teaching new levels in my favourite subjects. I have taught many of the students who will be there and I look forward to reconnecting with them. I expect this will give me a new lease on my professional life…. and I am due for it.
Popularity: 12% [?]
Pomegranate and Mosaic
I had a browse through my wordpress stats the other day. I was surprised to find the most common search terms people used to find my blog were ‘pomegranate’ and ‘mosaic’. I used to be constantly looking at my stats. I had a couple of different places to go to measure and weigh up what people were reading, where they were from and all the things you can find out about your blog once you get into it.
These days I can’t find the time or the enthusiasm for it. I still check how many visitors I get regularly, at least as often as I blog.
I guess in the beginning I was learning as much as I could because I was hoping to use it at school. I had a vision of blogs replacing student workbooks. They would never get lost or left at home. They would be able to tag each entry and retrieve information on subjects with ease. They might put a bit more care and thought into their work, since it was to be published. They would be able to have discussions with others through comments. Parents would be able to look up online and see what their young person was doing very clearly. They could check their stats and get real feedback about their work. I thought it was the perfect system. It hasn’t been nearly so simple to achieve in reality for lots of reasons.
Popularity: 8% [?]
Man Week
I’m not sure when Man Week started, but I spent this morning reading some great blog posts that are on the page I linked to. There have been programs on Triple J addressing a variety of topics about ‘being a man’. The reflections from men on their father/son relationships and manhood in general were gutsy. I hope lots of young men get to read them and I think I will share them with some when I get back to school.
I watched ‘Revolutiony Road’ last night and one of the scenes I loved best was when she said to her husband he was a wonderful thing… a man.
Popularity: 5% [?]
Living it
My new life bears little resemblance to my old one. Again! I understand change and I thought I loved it. I am not keeping up. There are lots of great things about the changes. Things I chose and want, good things. I feel I can’t even begin to be personal on my blog anymore because everytime I go to write something it seems like it’s not me. My life is not me. It’s a weird sensation. I feel like I would have to explain it. I can’t explain some things because they are not mine to explain.
I have new people in my life. I like them. It’s just different. I have small children occasionally. I am reading mummy bloggers and realising that the N/A that I used to feel, no longer applies. I get it again and not as a memory of my kids who are now new adult type people (yes, slowly coming to terms with that one too). There is an ex in my life, and I find myself on the other side of the sharing children fence. Occasionally I feel like karmic retribution is in play. It’s not always fun to be in this position I now am. It’s challenging at times. I have a new appreciation for my exes partner. I think I will tell her so, next time I see her. Scary thought. Maybe not.
My stuff and routines have all been shaken up and they haven’t quite settled in their new places yet. I am not at ease with them. I’m still tweaking. I feel old to think like this.
I go to school and it feels weird cause that has mostly stayed the same, but I am not. I was planning to leave there and now I am staying. I was enjoying the thought of leaving to be honest. Maybe I need to change that once these other changes have settled in. I think I am having a moment today!
Popularity: 6% [?]
Perspective
Today we had a conversation at lunch about perspective. The art teacher was talking about the first exercise she gives year 7 students to do. They draw their hands and she commented about the kinds of details that are drawn. Some students draw what she called fingerless gloves with the fingernails a straight line drawn across. We all remember those drawings of the blue sky a stripe at the top of the page and the green stripe at the bottom and in between there is air. I think it would be facinating to teach art and see perspectives appear before your eyes.
I see perspective in others behaviours. It doesn’t matter what we say, it’s what we do and who we are that demonstrates to the world what our perspective is. The experiences we constantly relive are indicators of what it is we believe to be true.
The events since Saturday have created a shift in our perspective around here. Suddenly a whole pile of things seem petty. When pitted against the loss experienced by people surrounding us, the daily concerns we had last week have become not even worthy of thought. I find myself feeling impatient with some things and having infinate patience with people around me. More than I had last week. I was in the supermarket tonight and the lines were long. No one had that stressed jittery stance that demonstrated to the world they were cranky about waiting. We all just lined up in and waited calmly. We speak softly to one another. The students in my classes have all been very co-operative and engaged. Generosity is pouring forth, when a week ago people were talking financial downturn. It’s quite amazing to watch.
Popularity: 6% [?]
Reflection on Blogging 2
I’ve been thinking about blogging, cause I’ve had time on my hands. I’ve been reading new blogs and seeking ones that reflect my new directions. It’s been challenging. Letting go, working out where I want to be. I was inspired by a post that Miscellaneous Mum featured a little while back, Okay, Fine, Dammit: Because It Needs To Be Said. I loved everything she wrote.
I have over 300 posts in my bloglines feed that I had saved to read later. It’s ridiculous and I’ve decided to do some pruning whilst I’ve been lying around. It’s challenging. I haven’t finished yet. I am about to rearrange my blog to reflect where I am heading more.
I enjoy blogs written by teachers who express themselves as whole people, such as Frogdancer, Widget and a new discovery Rhubarb Whine. I read the teachers who focus on technology and academics and sometimes I learn something useful. I enjoy those who write about the real joys of teaching as well as living. I read them straight away, I’m inclined to save the others for later… which hasn’t been coming. I love their individual and authentic voices.
I don’t reveal all. It is worthwhile when an ex-student makes a comment and keeps the connection up, or a someone you don’t see as often knows what I’ve been up to at a superficial level. I know when I am away, it may save telling the same stories over many times. The other stories revealed to the carefully chosen sources, close friends and my journal.
Popularity: 7% [?]
Comfort Food
Rice is what I want to eat when I am sick. I like fried rice, rice pudding, risotto and sushi. My mum has made me a bulk supply of fried rice, pudding and chicken soup. I have been sleeping for a couple of hours, getting up and having whichever of those foods I feel like and then reading or internetting (I know, it’s not a word!) then back to snooze. I’ve watched a couple of films, but nothing memorable enough to mention on Falling Brick.
I’ve had this delicious honey on my rice that a very gorgeous man earlier this year introduced me to. It comes from Tasmania and once I tasted it, I had to own it. It’s as divine on the rice as it was on the yoghurt, fruit and porridge when I first met it. Mmmm honey! I used to always have Golden Syrup on my rice pudding … it reminds me of my nana, who introduced me to that sweet stuff. I ran out though!
I am feeling a lot better though. I enjoy being bedridden as much as I can, after I accept it and call off all my plans. Jane and Sam are over from Perth and staying in Melbourne right now. I’ve put off seeing them until Wednesday. That was pretty frustrating. Not swimming on those great hot days and missing out on hanging out with John was also annoying. The big list of chores I want to get done to prepare for my big move has been put on hold. That was kind of stressful, but having time out to think more carefully about how to do it all, has possibly paid off too.
I think I have worked out what has led me to this situation and taken advantage of the reflection time. I had totally overlooked time out for rest and reflection when spending these holidays. I’ve mulled over my year that was, a bit deeper and dreamt up some new visions for my future. I’ve written a bit in my journal, which hasn’t seen too many words this past six months.
Popularity: 9% [?]
My 2008
I am reflecting on what I have achieved this year. December 2007 seems like a lifetime ago. It has been a pretty full year for me and an enjoyable one mostly.
We’ve got through Tom’s last year of going to school and now my work is done in child rearing. Now I’m a spectator in my adult children’s lives. He was disappointed with his VCE score, but it wasn’t so bad. The pain only seems to last a couple of days. I saw a kid at the movies last night and she struggled to remember hers. I find it all very amusing really. Asha has finished her second year at Uni and has made a good life for herself in Melbourne. Both my kids have two good jobs and are very independent, but fun to be around so I’m pleased with how it’s turned out.
My family are all well and happy. Kate’s moved to the UK and whilst I miss her I love hearing how much she’s enjoying it. It has inspired me. She split up with her boyfriend who is still in Melbourne over Christmas and yet she is still pretty upbeat. It was inevitable I guess.
I moved my blog to my own domain this year and have dropped a pagerank with google, part way through the year. I’ve managed to hang in the Top 100 Australian Women’s Blogs by the skin of my teeth (currently at 99), although I dropped out for a month or so at one point. I’ve had over 21,000 views this year. I must admit I like WordPress, but I haven’t blogged as regularly or put as much time into it this year. I’ve taken very few clips for Revver and have participated less on line and more in real life this year. I think it’s a good balance though. I’ve enjoyed staying in touch with people through Facebook.
Andy and I started Poohduck in May, he is doing most of it now. I love his photo’s. I’m glad we’ve stayed friends. We’ve had our moments, but all in all I have a lot of love and respect for him.
At school I have survived a year as Year 9 Co-ordinator and made the big decision to move next year. I’m heading overseas to work. I have always wanted to travel so I’m taking this opportunity of an empty nest to do so. I’m leaving in July. I need a change. I haven’t loved my school this year as much as I have in the past. I don’t want to sit around in a big old empty house doing the same old stuff. I’m excited and nervous and don’t really have a solid plan yet, just a firm decision and strong intention.
My social life has gone off (as they say) this year. I think being single has provided a lot more social opportunity and I caught up with an old school friend in October who is also separated, so we have made an effort to go out more and socialise. It’s been fun. I have made some great new friends this year also.
So many other things, good films, great music, interesting places…. but it’s all here on the blog. I’m off to the beach for a couple of days. Happy New Year everyone. I’m looking forward to 2009. I think it’s going to be amazing.
Popularity: 11% [?]
Falling Brick-
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